Partay at The Castle Whoooo Whoooo!
by Mazter-Of-Dizazter
Summary: Voldie's put an evil spell over the castsle so its time to Par-tay! author giggles meancingly Please R&R.
1. Let The Show Begin

**Notes of the Author: This story may contain sexual content if your mind is perverted. This passage may contain brief language, it's English. This fan-fiction writing may contain hilarious content made up partially by me and partially by J.K. Rowling, but maybe not.**

It was a dark and gloomy day like most had been for the past week at Hogwarts when suddenly, He-who-must-not-be-named-but-often-is-anyhow-but-who-really-cares, cast a cruel, volatile, spell over the entire school. It was the spell to end all spells, one learned only by the most talented of wizards. It was called "Musica y Danza." It was a terrible spell that forced anyone under its power to randomly burst out into song and occasionally the songs were accompanied by very tasteful background dancing. And so the show began.

The trio waked down the crowded hallways towards potions class. Their aching arms were loaded with books and parchment.

"Why do we have to take all of this junk to class every bloody day?" Ron whined.

"I dunno, but it really is a lot. It hurts my arms." Harry agreed as his books fell to the floor. "There I go again; my aching arms can't even hold anything up these days!"

**(To the tune of Numb, by Linkin Park)**

"I'm tired and my arms are ach-y  
Feeling so helpless lost under the big mess  
Don't know what you're expecting of me  
Put under the pressure of carrying these books  
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)  
Every step I take is another arm bake-ing in two  
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
My arms have become tired, so much less aware  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
Is to carry less and have less to do." Ron's mouth was moving but the song was quite unfamiliar to him. His face was covered with shock and fear.

"What in the world was that?" Hermione questioned. "I mean, I know you're a bit, well, special, Ron, but this is _really _weird, even for you."

This made Ron very angry. I'm not sure why because he is well, special. But, for some reason, he became very flustered at Hermione's words. His face turned the color of his hair and he shouted, "Hey, it isn't my fault! I don't even like singing! You try not being able to shut-up when some spooky hocus-pocus spell mabob is on you!"

"Right Ron, sure." Hermione muttered nodding her head in mockery.

Finally, the three reached Snape's classroom. When they entered Snape and the rest of the Slytherins stared cruelly at them. There was a look of disgust on the professor's prominent face. "You three are exactly .4271324213111 seconds late. That will cost you one thousand points from Gryffindor." The three moaned. "Each." He added maliciously as they took their seats.

"Today, students, we will be learning a very special spell." Professor Snape said coolly as he headed towards his old tattered desk.

"ABCDEFG…"

"Not that kind of spell, in fact, it isn't really a spell at all because I don't teach spells, I teach potions, I just enjoy seeing that confused look on your faces." Snape snapped. "Today we will be learning and conjuring up a _potion_ called Edibleondetable. It is a potion from many, well, pretty many years ago, does anybody know that year exactly?"

Hermione's arm shot up like a rocket. She waved her hand around frantically. She even got up and preformed a tap-dance solo on her desk.

"Miss. Granger, do you have to use the potty?" Snape questioned slyly.

"No, but I…"

"Okay then, fifty-seven point three points from Gryffindor!" He howled. He laughed cruelly and was a bout to return to his lesson when Hermione jumped onto the table again.

"Oh, just shut-up and kiss me!" she screamed.

Ron looked at Harry, then at Snape, then at Hermione, then back at Harry, then at Hermione, and as you can imagine he got quite dizzy. Snape gave Hermione a puzzled look.

"Sorry," she mumbled, "It was just for giggles. Plus some strange people like…. for instance... a particular fiction writer's sister (coughcough) likes to read that kind of outlandish and disturbing stuff" Hermione sat back down, proud to have attempted to twist the plot of my story.

"And now, does anyone know the name of the potion…_besides _Miss. Granger?" Snape hissed.

Malfoy slowly and lazily raised a limp hand. "Is it, 3567?" he asked.

Snape smiled, "No, that day hasn't happened yet, but close enough. It was first created in 1802. Twenty-billion points to Slytherin for their wonderful answer!"

Suddenly, as this was becoming quite common, Draco jumped on his desk, accompanied by Crabb and Goyle.

**(To the tune of we are the Champions, by Queen.)**

"We are the champions - my friends  
and we'll keep on fighting - till the end -  
We are the Slytherins -  
We are the champions  
No time for losers  
'cause we are the champions - of the world –"

"Thank-you, boys." Snape stated coolly. "Let's hear it for Draco and 'da gang yo yo!" Everyone went silent after Snape's wanna-be rapper lingo.

Finally, after learning absolutely nothing, class ended and the trio rushed towards the common room, arms still aching ferociously.

"What in the world was that all about." Ron groaned, dropping his books to the floor. "That was just insane, and I though conquering an evil wizard about a bazillion times was strange but this, this singing thing is so bloody dreadful!"

"It is kind of funny though." Harry commented dropping his books down beside Ron's.

"Ow, ow, ow! My toe!" Hermione screeched as the books fell on her foot. The boys ignored her.

"You only say that Harry 'cause it hasn't happened to you…yet."

**Notes from the best person in the world (That's me): Yes, it has some stuff from other musicians in it. (Duh!) Please R&R this is my first HP parody. Be ready for a new chapter. TTFN to all of my not-yet-adoring fans!**


	2. Crank Up The Volume

**Notes that the Author has previously Written: Hola me amigos. (No, I do not speak fluent Spanish) We left off with our dashing hero saving his fiancé from the villain Dr. V! No, not really, that was just for my own enjoyment. I'm not actually going to tell you what just happened because I am assuming that you already read the first chapter. Now I'm babbling again and I'll let you get back to your regular PC program.**

**+-+-+-+-+-+-**

As out three heroes sit in boredom in the common room, not doing their armload of homework, our victorious villain plans part #2 of his evil scheme.

"And as part…1…4….88…oh yes, 2 of my evil scheme, I shall sit back and watch this whole extravaganza on my new reality television show on channel 31/5 called, "I put a spell on the castle so let's all watch people suffer." Voldemort giggled girlishly. "I've always wanted to do that!"

Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts, our three heroes still sat in boredom in the common room, not doing their armload of homework. "Wadda you wanna do?" Harry asked.

"I dunno wadda you wanna do?" Harry replied. No, that was not a typo; Harry just gained a second personality.

"I dunno wadda you wanna do?" Ron answered and questioned ridiculously.

Hermione looked up and out the window, you know, the one on the left side of the room. The one with the pretty gold curtain on it. The window with the cute little owl continuously ramming into it, trying to get through the glass that it doesn't see. "Hey, it looks like san owl is bringing some one a letter!" she said, jumping up from the seat that I never said she was sitting in.

"And I thought she was the bright one." Ron sneered. I believe he may have been PMSing because he was having random mood swings. (No, that was not literal, I do not think that way, all the time, no, I never do, just forget that I ever said that. Oops, I'm babbling again, continue.)

Hermione, who had now opened the window, viciously tore the envelope from the brain damaged bird that then plummeted down to the ground to die a terrible and painful death. Hermione walked over, handing the letter to Harry. "It's for you." She said as she sat back down in her chair. Harry ripped it open and began to read it aloud.

"Dear Harry, this letter will suddenly change to song form and have the same tune as I think I Love You, by the Partridge Family.

I think I love you; I was captured by the dark Lord

I was afraid that, you weren't gonna save me with that one sword

I think I love you isn't that what life is made of

Though it worries me to say that I never felt this way

Love,

G.W."

"G.W., hmm, who could that be?" Ron inquired, scratching his head.

"Ewwwww! Gross! It could be your brother, George Weasly!" Harry shrieked as the letter dropped from his hands in disgust.

"Hey," Hermione stated matter-of-factly, "His last name is Weasly, kind of like a weasel. That is funny. Oh, and Scabbers, whom we now know as Peter, is a mouse anumagi, and mice are kind of like weasels, which Ron is and he owned Scabbers!"

"Or, the letter could be from Ginny." Ron shrugged, completely ignoring Hermione's random comment.

"It's true!" Ginny shouted as she burst into the room dressed in rather odd apparel. She was wearing a rather long, princess-y, white dress. "Will you marry me Harry?"

Harry looked at Ginny and then looked at his watch. "I would, but I can't, this isn't the climax and it is noon." He stated briefly.

"What's noon got to do with it?" everyone asked in unicorn, no, sorry, not unicorn, unison.

**(Sung to the tune of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper.)**

" Yo asked me, if I would marry you  
I had to say no because it was about noon  
Oh,Ginny,dear,  
You know that you are the one,  
But I,  
I haft'a have lu-unch,  
Oh, I ,just haft'a have  
That's all I really want...  
Some Lunch..." Harry, not shocked at the lyrics, but shocked that he was singing at all, fainted. He woke some hours later, did the whole "Where am I?" thing, and then he remembered, blablablablabla.

And then the sun went down.

The next morning, Harry woke up to find Ginny curled up next to him, a symbol of sweet snoring perfection. He touched his hand gently to her face, and then realized that it was all a dream and he hadn't even woken up yet.

A few moments later Harry's eyes drifted open (for real this time) and he reached over towards his glasses, lazily throwing them onto his sleepy face. He got out of his pajamas and threw on his robes. "Mornin' Ron." He whispered, assuming that Ron was already awake. "Ron, I said good morning." Harry said, a little louder this time. Ron just rolled over in his bed and grumbled, "I don't want the stripper monkey! No…oh, never mind." Yes, he spoke in his sleep. Harry then crept over towards Ron, he stood right next to his bed very silently, "GOOD MORNING RONALD!"

"Ahhhh! Not the monkey, no, oh, mornin' 'Arry." Ron muttered.

Soon enough, the boys were ready and they rushed downstairs to greet Hermione and go to transfigurations class.

"Isn't it just uncanny that we all have the exact same classes?" Hermione asked as they walked down the endlessly long hallway.

Harry smiled, "No, not really, I mean, we are three very important people. We ought to be in the same classes or 'life' would be bloody boring and we would have no plot or dialogue."

"Welcome to transfiguration class." Minerva stated coolly. Wow, lots of teachers state things 'coolly' in my fics.

The trio walked into the classroom and took there usual seats, Hermione in the back where she can be lazy, Harry in the middle, and Ron in the font where he can answer all of the questions. No, scratch that, reverse it.

"Now class, as you may or may not know, our castle has been put under a spell, and there is only one _extremely_ dangerous way to terminate it."

**My Extraordinary Notes: So, that's it for chapter two. Yes I used more songs. Yes, the lunch thing is kind of from the Weird Al song. I hope you enjoyed this. Please R&R. **


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